EL CHEEKY STOAT

... well at least, to any PC nightmares reading, that's how he actually describes himself...
" I 'm just a Jewish Shmuck" - Sir Alan.
Correct. And one who can't think of one original line beyond " You're fired"... and even that loaned out to him by the comb-over king of corporate crap, Donald Trump.

A remarkable resemblance to a Carry On star, minus any sense of humour

So then, it's interesting to observe with a critical eye, "Mr "everyone-owned-a-crock-Amstrad's" god-like status, afforded him by the relentless stream of young go-getting wannabees ever-ready to suck up to his god-like status within the business community.

Yes sir Alan.
No sir Alan.
Three bags full of shite, Sir Alan.

The latest street-sharp CV-lying heartless cut-throat spiv to gain Sir Alan's nod.

And The Apprentice, is lapped-up enthusiastically by an entire nation of "entrepreneurs", who imagine that yes, they too could live like the Beckhams if only they too had the requisite qualities of the candidates lapping at Sir Alan's Munster cheese feet.

The qualities most admired by "El Shmuck" and therefore absorbed and imputed upon by the masses watching, we observe, are the animalistic ones of dog-like devotion to the Sir, "in-for-the-kill", destroying the competition, shrewd cunning, ruthlessness, "drive" ( and with all the cruelty and inhumane behaviour that implies) and emotionless cut-throatedness.

In other words, the qualities being set forth as a good example to the youthful masses tuning in to the Jewish-dominated MSM of today are nothing short of barbaric opportunistic ruthlessness.
The qualities of compassion, kindliness, honesty and fairness are nowhere to be seen or felt. (And yes, it is possible to be honest in business and still be successful.)

Sir Alan Bugger promotes nothing but the old-fashioned remorseless commercial dog-eat-dog competition ethic that has now, like every dog like Sir Alan... had its day.

The common working man has had enough of the sir Alan bullshit-type business ethic nightmare that manifests as PO closures, creeping privatisation of healthcare, extortionate utility, fuel and food bills, massive slave labour immigration...

It's the dawn of the age of PEOPLE OVER PROFIT and QUALITY OF LIFE FOR THE COMMON MAN OVER YET MORE CREAM FOR THE FAT CATS

Just watch the way the wretched old school dinasaur Gordon Brown is going. The old schemes and con tricks no longer work on us.

Viva le stoaty revolution!!!

CHEEKY STOAT

( " Anti-semitic"? Nah, merely anti-unfairness - in whatever guise )

Even though, as a wee stoat in a hole in the ground, my acute and immediate carnal interests make me somewhat detached from the rough & tumble of daily politics... still .....

The Artful Dodger of Downing Street

... through the via media of my beat-up little battery-powered 5 " B & W telly rescued from't local skip, I do in fact tend to wind my little furry bod up into vile-to-behold furious mouth-foaming foot-stomping rants at the unashamed piss-take politics of our current un-elected leader, along with the way this country is being run ( into the ground ).

There seems no end to the shabby and shameful tactics Brown is prepared to use to keep loading-up the burden of pickpocket taxation upon each and every one. Only today it was revealed the hidden whammy of car tax from the last budget applying to older vehicles too, being sneaked out quietly ( as all the legislation that adversely affects the majority of people often is ).

The 10p tax rate also, we suddenly find, pickpockets money from the pensions of the lowest earners.
And the day before the local elections Brown decides to concede a "mistake" was made. Does he imagine folk can't see through his sickly, palsied politliar's facade?

This cynical glorified accountant has no principles, no direction, no interest in the welfare or well-being of the people of this country - it wouldn't surprise me if he puts aside a couple of hours each day to slouch his fat pinstriped arse in the No 10 Ercol daybed, solely to dream up new pickpocket stealth taxes. Already the ludicrous pickpocket bin tax levels are decided - but of course won't be announced til after May 1st.

What is he doing about re-distributing the massive wealth accrued by the utilities, the oil companies, the big food retailers, at the expense of grinding lower-paid families into the ground?

When will he ever tax the rich?

Before this rant gives wee Stoaty one a coronary, he urges all of you to give PICKPOCKET POLITICS (TM) its just dessert tomorrow in the council elections by giving the bastard Brown a good old fashioned kick in the polls.

Cameron and the Tories will doubtless be just as bloody bad when they take over, but at least protest vote whichever way tomorrow, as your way of telling the crook Brown to stuff himself and his soppy chancellor where the sun don't shine!

CHEEKY STOAT

(That was a Party Political Blogcast on behalf of the Principled Stoat party.)

Politicians. Who'd have em, heh?

The Brown/Darling ticket (to hell) release the news that they've decided after all to nationalize the Northern Rock basket case bank, last thing on a frozen Sunday to a half-dead nation, to make sure it makes it to the Monday gutter press on the same day as Al Fayed gives his "sensational" revelations in the Diana inquest... and the next day the Pakistan general elections.

In his court appearance, the Harrods megalomaniac will deliver damming and incredible accusations about the murder of Lady Diana, including the "fact" that Prince Philip is a filthy racist Nazi bastard and actually runs the country and MI6( !!!! )and that Harrods man was the only one privy to a phone call from the Princess on her arrival in Paris in 1997; revealing that she and Muslim Dhodi were about to be engaged and that she had a royal half-caste bun in the oven into the bargain..... and if you believe that the Kensington control freak didn't ALWAYS record his phone conversations, then you'll believe anything.

But there again; WHY were the paparazzi -the first on the crash scene - denied opportunity to give testimony. WHAT was the bright flash of light seen in the tunnel before the crash? WHY were all the CCTV cameras in the tunnel out of action that night only? WHY was Diana's body embalmed before the post mortem, contrary to normal practice? CONVENIENT that the only survivor from the crash, ex-SAS bodyguard Rees says he can't remember anything after leaving the Ritz. HOW did Henri Paul's "blood sample" contain enough carbon monoxide to render the ordinary man unconscious/dead?

Headlines guaranteed to usurp gay Gordon's NR faux pas which has left all us tax-paying suckers at least 3K worse off.

Just as in 9/11 with that Labour publicist'ess emailing that it "might be a good day to bury bad news", politliars - as ever - can always be guaranteed to sneak out the brown stuff under cover of other convenient headlines.

Shameless bunch of ass wipes, all of em' !!!

CHEEKY STOAT.

'Scuse me while I shake/shiver me little furry bod free (flea) of water like a dog fresh in from the rain.....
There you go. Nice out, isn't it?
( "Yes, now put it back in again " - Eric Morecambe.)

So we're all off to a flying start this 2008 heh? I sense waves of January joy and optimism flooding the land along with the record deluges.
A couple of items to increase our mirth in the form of stoat observations the past day or three.....

Nice try by Lady Diana's ex butler to paint the Duke of Edinburgh and the rest of the parasitic royals in a typically fawning light at the inquest the other day...(what a crawler that man is.)
"Prince Philip would have been highly unlikely to have described Dodi Fayed as an oily bed hopper"

Is that right Paul? ( and looking a bit oily yourself there, if you don't mind my saying.)

Not ten years ago the Prince of Royal Darkness was in fact pulled up short by the media during a trip to the Great Wall of China, when a reporter overheard him describe the Chinese as a " bunch of slitty eyed dog eating peasants".
Leopards & spots there methinks, your highness!

Meantime up in Jordy land like, the re-appointment of Kev'" I'd luv it if we beat 'em " Keegan as new Magpies manager evokes a mass collective intake of breath.
Talk about Forward to the Past!

The Yorkshire tea boy talks a great game, but when it comes to pressure situations he has tended to droop with performance-related anxiety. Even as a player he used to dribble quite a bit before he shot

Wee Keegan's famed hollow blustering at its best. Second only in the windbag stakes to Neil " Well Allright!!!" Kinnock the pillock.

" The fans must have patience" is his opening line to the long-suffering Toon army.
I have a stoaty feeling in my fur-lined slug & field mouse-filled gut that that's going to be the understatement of the year, our Kev'.

Meantimes yet more glad tidings from the NHS with new stat's citing 17,000 more patient deaths per annum caused by "failings in the system" than in any of the other 5 top Euro countries surveyed.

As the song goes.... Ehhhhhhmigration time COME ON!TM

Meantime every time I have switched on me ol' 5 " B & W beat-up portable battery driven Sanyo telly I dragged fromp't local skip recently, there are moving images of zillions of starlings silhouetted against miserable dusk skylines, doing their acrobatic synchronized swarm performances.
Alright, its interesting, but not that ferkin' interesting - except maybe for a hungry stoat..

Hmm yes, suddenly those "small to medium-sized passerine birds'" ( luv me Wikipedia) with their speckled and insect shell-shiny plumage have assumed a new interest.

For I have never ripped up and munched on one of these...yum

The Common Starling - somewhat under-appreciated.

So hows about a " Starling Appreciation Week "?
I'll second that!

CHEEKY STOAT

With the inevitable arrival of the killer strain of bird flu to this savage island - and timed just in time for "Christ"mas, comes the inevitable killer headline by that epitome of sober reportage, The Daily Getsworse.

What TF do they mean, "THREAT TO 5M FESTIVE BIRDS"? They were all destined to be hung upside down on a revolving metal meat hook rack, electrocuted and then their throats slit and left to bleed to death in some benevolent Uncle Bernard Mathews bird Belson anyway weren't they?

" Bootiful "?

One Hellbound SOAB

If I were a turkey and not a genteel stoat living it up in a hibernation safe house of a snug riverside stoat hole, I think I would greatly prefer the quick gassing that this poor lot got.

Its so easy to relish the taste of the bird, the pig, the small lamb and the newborn calf and blank from the conscious mind the fear and suffering our fellow creatures go through simply to give a temporary taste bud hit to human beings.

I'm scarpering around into PM's expansive Peashurst estate on Christmas day in the hope of scavenging some of the ex-mop top's nut roast throw-outs.
" I don't see why an animal has to die just so as I can enjoy a Christmas dinner"
- Sir Paul.

Macca rocks okay!

EL CHEEKY STOAT.

Tony Blair has been accused of "gold-digging" and "money-sucking" after he reportedly charged £240,000 for giving a speech in China.
The China Youth Daily newspaper said the address had been like "listening to some domestic county or city-level official" and had given "nothing new" ( read "terminally boring" ).

Let's hope (not) the lying shyster conman war criminal in extremes has a good thick fireproof asbestos suitcase, to prove us all wrong about the old adage " You can't take it with you when you go".

EL CHEEKY STOAT

Having just lost two hundred rabbits' feet down the pan at Ladbrokes just t'other day wi' them "flattering only to deceive" Kiwis going the way of the Aussies against England in the world cup rugby, I see with me wee stoat peepers, that this is not the season for any betting man (or small mammal).

So it is with our esteemed PM and the recent election "fever" and thus proving conclusively that GB is no man of action nor of courage, but one with all the innovation and inspiration of the pin-striped accountant waiting on the same Surbiton platform for the same 7.00am into Waterloo each day for the past thirty years.

Brown floated (ptp) the idea of a snap election, half convinced himself that he would call one as the party conference season got into "swing" at the start of the month and with New Labour a good margin ahead of Cameron's dishevelled troops.

No co-incidence then that we saw the time-serving PM-by-default-not-by-democratic election, all of a sudden popping up here there and everywhere - in Iraq, in maternity wards, opening hospitals twice ( the cameras weren't present the first time ) giving interviews etc.

Then he sits back and waits for the Tories to strut their lame stuff exactly as the infirm Thatcher hobbles along these days. And waits for the new set of opinion polls - which show the gap narrowing to a meagre 4 points between the two parties.

And promptly calls it all off.

What an insult to the electorate! What a spineless chancer, what a drab dull plodding no-hoper of a PM we've landed ourselves with here. An inane pointless waffler par excellence, incapable of acting decisively on any issue, the country's heading from Blair's shambles into Brown's buggers' muddle.

'Scuse me while I return fur a lie-in on me twig bed at't back o' me damp riverbank stoathole this lovely bright optimistic English Monday morning.

"The Future's s**te, the Future's Brown" TM

" Brown's a Jobsworth" TM

Here we go again, yet another Labour party conference, yet another hot air charade on control freak spin-doctored wheels.

Minus of course the sickly permasmirk psychotic war criminal one at the liars' lectern this year.

In the hell-bound one's stead it's old Edinburgh twinkle toes, "playsafe" Prudence himself. Never a one to take a risk - as we so amply saw during the last few years of Blair's dictatorship - even with cobwebs and ceiling motes gathering in his hair next door, he played the waiting game, as is his one and only forte.

So how bleak the REAL outlook for the country must be when even bottle-less Jock Brown considers going to the country after only 3 months in office.

An honest theme tune to this year's LPC would probably go something along the lines of.. " Things can only get worse - so let's merrily harvest the sheep votes while we can".

And of course the opposition parties couldn't find less substantial or more damp dish cloth-exciting leaders, in chameleon Cameron and Ming the pensioners' pin up, if they tried..

Of course on top of the economic material presently hitting the fan - Northern Wreck being probably only the tip of the steaming heap to come - a 100-seat majority would give the bastard juggernaut New Labour nightmare, headed by "taxmax" Gord', a fresh 4-year mandate to impose draconian new laws, stealth and lame carbon -excuse taxes and to roll out motorway road-tolling, along with the abolition of more civil liberties and the covering of the country's remaining green belt with yet more horrendous Barratt box doll's house visions from toytown hell.

And they will, ohhh they will !

Soon enough they'll be able to break down your door for non-payment of a parking fine.

" The future's sh*te, the future's Brown " TM

In short the country won't be worth living in.

Now where did I put me wee stoat passport now? I hear the frogs in SW France are quite tasty

EL CHEEKY STOAT

I don't know if any of you dudes ever find yourselves all wideawake like at about 4am and turn on your tellys only to find a curious informal interview going on between two guys in suits over a low-slung coffee table?

Well I'm talking the so-called " HARDtalk", which has been droning on for donkey's years on the Beeb. These days it's hosted by the overly serious BBC journalist Steve Sackur, who usually grills the politliarTM victim until the forehead sweat beads emerge.

Of course we'd be classified paranoid if we suggested the only programme that ever asks difficult and seriously probing questions of politicians ( apart from the occasional irrational high-pitched rant from horse-face Paxman on Newsnight ) is screened at such an unearthly hour; is done so because the viewing figures are then at a 24hr low ebb.

But I am, in fact an unashamed "paranoid" little stoat ( as confirmed by the ravishing Ros Thompson recently on Vort1gern's excellent blog, Wendigo)

Anyways....this very early morn' I tried watching HARD talk as a possible 16 sq inches of B & W visual sleeping draught as I am worried about catching this new foot & mouth business kicking off again upstream from my delightfully soily riverbank stoat hole.

So anyways, today's recipient of Sackur's interrogation was the recently appointed UN emergency relief coordinator Sir John Holmes ( no relation to John "Aintree" Holmes of course ), an admirably emotionless highbrow dodgetalk specialist ( as they all are of course).

Yet here's the rub. As I was drifting away into a stoat slumber, emerging dream visions of crunchy frogs and sticklebacks and juicy slugs between my nifty little nippers; I recoiled in disbelief at the same brick wall answer to two straight questions fired by the BBC man.

" How would you respond to all the statistics from independent charity organizations on the ground in Iraq, that the recent American troop surge is having a terrible effect on the living conditions of Iraqis?"

and..

" What is your comment on the Israeli proposal to shut down all water and electricity supplies to the million jobless and starving people trapped in Gaza"

To both questions the smug and vacuous knight of the realm - and coordinator of the UN Humanitarian Emergency relief remember - declared...

" I won't be drawn into political controversy by offering an opinion ".

Says it all heh? What a corrupt joke the UN actually is. Complete wastes of space & our good taxes - as is that pigs' trough of a EU HQ in Brussels.

The most effective vote is no voteTM, says stoaty one.

HARDtalk? - hardly. The usual double talk much more like.

EL CHEEKY STOAT

As I lay basking on me back on't reed beds just down't river from me wee palatial riverbank stoathole, me white stoat fur underbelly getting nicely warmed up by't morning sun... I ponder....
Jeez H Christ pogo-sticking down a Siberian salt mine in winter, this last spell of weather had me going bonkers. 'Twas akin to a weather god curse I can tell you. Most of August in the SE corner of England resembled a good old Scottish winter in its grim sodden wretchedness. Day after ferkin' day of cold winds & grey dreech c/w overhanging cloud & rain - didn't get even a glimpse of the sun fur two weeks at one stage. Unreal!

It had me holed-up in me ..well.. stoathole, curled and shivering like a mongrel with distemper on me bed o' damp twigs and in semi-hibernation waiting, waiting waiting...
Wasn't til yester-bastard-day that that strange bright object finally put in an appearance and got all the insects & wildlife active, up and buzzing. All of a sudden the world came back to life and I was oot n' aboot straight away, dartin' out of me earthen residence, hopping high and sprightly through't long grass, catching a few frogs & paw fishing fur those nice crunchy sticklebacks.

////// ***** //////

News on me 5" B & W skip-rescued portable telly's not too clever at't mo. Every day brings fresh shootings and yet oddly enough Govt. statistics apparently tell of no overall increase in gun crime! Either the media are reporting this sick stuff more, or old twinkle toes Gordon "taxmax"TM Brown pants has got himself a spin doctor already.

Blimey no wonder people are emigrating for good, that n't bastard weather! Even the eager beaver Poles are starting to trickle back home again. Watch out for the £10 K emigration tax coming soon. Brown pants'll have to stem the flow soon before it becomes a deluge.

No wonder either that folk are spending more and more time online than watching the telly. Barring exceptions like nature programmes & sport, it's nowt but a load of old visual codswallop what's being put out on the old tragic lantern these days.

Its a non stop ferkin' diet of death and violence and crudity of thought and sound.
Only last night this wee stoat had the choice of watching either a film featuring witch-burning, or another showing savages hunting down and killing monkeys in the jungle...or that intensive care hospital soap crap featuring terminally ill people getting cut up in the operating theatre or laying there moaning in agony with tubes stuck in them.

Why is the TV/media fixated with death and destruction and aggro?
Don't we all get more than enough of that in real life as it is?

Paxman did a good lecture about content over technical progress the other day, it was shown once on the 6AM BBC news and never again.

'Scuse me now while I scarper back doon t'd reed beds fur some more sunbathing - must stock up on the old vitimin E ready fur the bastard long English winter ahead!

CHEEKY STOAT